Dot`sThoughts

Here it is  November 12, 2016. Been a long time since I have written here in my Blog.  A lot has happened over the last year. Now over 2 years since I had both shoulders operated on. Right shoulder doing good, but still some pain in the left one. Often wonder if the pain might be caused by the two  anchors used to hold it together. Think they are made from titanium metal, but not certain.

     Had this awful pain in the right side of my head that woke me one night. It was very severe and each pain came and went exactly with my heartbeats. When my heart skipped a beat there was no pain. I have a normal skip. This went on for a few minutes and suddenly stopped . Then there was a slight pain with a feeling of pressure that slowly was moving upwards, around my temple and then down the right side of my head and only left pressure in my head near my right ear which remained for weeks. Saw a Dr who took  x-rays which showed nothing wrong.  No one ever found the cause of that very terrible pain, but a few months later I did get another Dr to have an MRA done which showed something, so they then did an MRI and discovered an aneurism in the back of my head I had a 4mm aneurism arising from the inferior division near the right middle cerebral artery bifurcation. Dr decided not to operate on it due to my age. He felt it more risky to operate at age 85 than it would be to leave it alone. So,  that was last January 15, 2016 when he told me that, so I now wonder how much it might have grown in the past 10 months.  My next Dr apt. to have it checked is on February 1st, 2017. So a few more months before I will know more. Since I still work making items in my wood shop using all kinds of saws and other tools, I keep praying nothing happens while I an doing things with saws or while I might be out driving in my car as I don`t want to hurt anyone if the aneurism should burst. From what I  have been told it should only grow about 2% a year, so if I am lucky, It might never happen in my lifetime.  Normally they grow about 1 %, but since my Father died from one bursting in his head, it gives me a 2% growth rate.

 Then along came my apt. with the Rheumatologist for the problems with my hands and wrists- severe arthritis, which I already knew. With the head problem this Dr didn`t  want to give me any meds, so ordered a gel to rub on my hands and wrists which help with both the swelling and pain. It is called: Diclofenac sodium topical gel -and I have since learned it is prescribed for other kinds of pain also. Tried it on my left shoulder, but it didn`t  ease that pain.  He also ordered an arm /wrist support that the thumb slides into, which  helps supports and gives more strength to my  right hand. At my last apt. he ordered a new one for the right hand/ wrist and also one for the left hand/wrist for more support.  Hard to do much wearing both of them, but  I do still wear the right one most of the time.  This Dr has now left, the practice and my next apt. in  April will be with a new Dr.  Thankful for the gel as it helps loads.

 This month is my apt with the Dr who handles my sleep apnea and the C-PAP  equipment orders.
 Next month are two more Dr`s, one handles my eye problems- double vision for years  ( was told by a specialist it was caused by a minnie stroke -he believes) and now added a wrinkle in the center of my right eye- which  I was told if I was younger they would operate and remove  the wrinkle, but here again age matters. So the Dr.  just keeps a close check on it in case it changes.  Seems like every time I see my Dr.  I am sent to see a specialist.  Me, who hates wasting money seeing Dr`s. is lately seeing too many.

 But, I am very thankful to God for giving me such a long life and allowing me to stay active and on my feet able to live alone and still take care of my home, my loving Pug Roo,  and myself. In case I haven`t mentioned it before my little Pug was originally named by me friend who  is a breeder of small dogs because  when he was born with front leg disabilities he would sit up like a kangaroo for long periods of time. he is now 5 years old and with all the therapy I did with him as a puppy, he can walk on all 4  paws, even thought the legs won`t completely open and still often sits up on his fanny with his front legs in front of him  like a kangaroo. He loves everyone especially having the great grandchildren play with him. He is my biggest reason for getting up every morning. He keeps the house from feeling empty or lonely.

 Went to a Nursing Home last week to visit a cousin. My heart breaks for her and her family as she has advanced problems where she knows you and  then often forgets and will ask who you are . I am grateful for the good conversations we did have . The following day I had visitors I hadn`t  seen in years- one of which lives a long ways away in another state. Was wonderful catching up with each other, so much had happened over the years. They are almost like family since one is the sister, other sister-in-law to a daughter-in-law who also lives out of state and I hear from often by phone.

 Halloween night was great. Love seeing all those little kids in their cute costumes, last year had 36, this year 37- some were older children, but I would rather keep giving candy to these nice kids and keep them from getting into trouble like some older ones do. Some young parents had come since they were younger, so I look forward to seeing them with their little3 ones.

 Had a lot of repairs needed on the back of my home where the roof leaked down between the inside and outside walls. Had a lot of help from my family- replacing insulation and outside boards. To do the work they had to remove my back porch and they rebuilt me an even nicer porch.  We also replaced the back door with a nicer one. I never really cared for the old door with the full length glass. It had been given to us and so we used it when we turned the back bedroom into a laundry room after the kids were all grown and moved out. Then we added the door and porch. That was many years ago, but the new repairs were done this summer/ Fall. Finished just a couple weeks ago.  I have such great sons,  daughter, a  daughter-in-law, a son-in-law and a friend who did all the house repairs for me. I did help with the painting once the repairs were finished.  Where would I be if I didn`t  have  sons and daughters  and in-laws willing to help when I need help.  Then my hot water heater started leaking and  one of my sons used his truck to pick up the new one for me and he also  removed the old one and hooked up the new one for me.

   I have a great loving family which I love very much. I have 17 plus 5 more from step children making 22 lovely grandchildren and 30  plus 5 more making 35 lovely great grand children and I love them all very much.. I am a very lucky person with soo much loving family that are there for me..  Had my step son, tell me, shortly before he died - " mom, I need to tell you something, No one and I mean no one could ever have a better mother than I have with you". That was at my 80th Birthday party at the beach and lost him the following month. I will always be happy knowing I was a good mother to him.  He was a very nice son and I miss him terribly. I was as proud of him as I am of all my  own birth children. I am a lucky mother. Wish Walt was still here to meet all  the great grandchildren, he would have loved every one of them as much as he did the grandchildren. My Children had a very loving father and I will always miss him very much.