Dot`sThoughts

6/24/11 Father`s Day was Sunday, June 19, 2011 this year.

Fathers day was a great disappointment to some of my family this year. Daughter Theresa, her husband Gino and myself rode down to the Moss Street cemetery in Hudson Falls , where most of my family relations are buried, including my husband. Some of the family had placed objects on his grave, some had been there for nearly 9 years with no complaints. Oldest daughter Linda rode down with me on May 30th and everything was still neatly arranged, just as I had left it on my last visit to the graves. Our stone has a base slightly larger than the top stone, leaving about a 3 inch ledge all around, Items had sat on this ledge over the years. The only rules we ever knew about placing things, was no artificial flowers were allowed. At that time there were also many flags all over the cemetery that were put there by the VFW and other veterans associations for Memorial Day. These flags usually remain for many weeks, but they were also already removed before Father`s Day.

Well, to get back to what was upsetting us so much- When Theresa, Gino and myself arrived on Father`s day, the only items on my husbands was the eternal light and the light that turns on at dusk, plus my homemade wooden planter containing the flowering plants. Things had been removed from everyone`s graves. The once warm friendly cemetery had suddenly looked like a cold barren looking- like those cold military cemeteries you see in pictures. Only difference is there were all kinds and styles of grave stones in place of the crosses you see in the pictures. It took me a couple days to calm down enough to call the Funeral home to see who was in charge of the cemetery. I knew the one in charge also worked at this Funeral Home. I was told that someone had complained to the city and that the city had rules saying no decorations could be placed on any cemetery lots anywhere in that Village. Once someone complained, guess the city had to enforce their rule that apparently was placed on the books many years ago. No one I spoke to had ever heard of these rules. I also was told one light was allowed for each grave, that was why the eternal light and the dusk to dawn light was allowed to remain on our grave lots. Also bothers me that all the planters were set between the stones down the row even with the stones. No one can tell which flowering plants belonged to which stones, the stones on the right side of the stones or the stones on the left of the plants. Flowers setting on the west side of the stones are sheltered by the stone from the hot morning sun so they live longer. Those sitting on the east side would need watering every day to stay alive. But the stones run in rows going from north to south, so the flowers sitting in the open between the stones get the hot sun continually all day, so probably will not last all summer like they have in past years.
I found this out when I asked why the lantern was re moved from my husbands, but the two I placed on my parents, the ones I placed on each of my brother`s were left there. The last time I was down all the flowers in my oldest brother`s urn had died, so I had picked up everything setting on his grave and used them as decoration inside the urn. I noticed none of those were removed. I was also told that the fellow –Paul- would be calling me to set up a time and date for us to pick up the items that had been removed and bagged. He was not working when I called last week, guess I should phone them again since I still haven`t received his call. Some of the items cost a little, so would like to have them returned. I heard it was posted in the newspaper, but I never saw the notices.

Here it is, Sunday, June 26, and I am still feeling up-set over how everything was changed at the Moss Street cemetery. All , because one person complained. Not sure who, or what their complaint was about. Only know it effected everyone who has a loved one in that cemetery. First it cost a lot to buy those two grave lots, and then we paid much more for the nice double heart stone that Walt and I had chosen back when we first bought the lots. I didn`t want our kids to have to go through picking them out and handling everything. I wanted as much already paid for and done as possible ahead of time. When I lost Walt, I was so glad we had done it together. Then to have someone else decide what we could and couldn`t put onto those lots. It seems so unfair. As I told the fellow at the funeral Home, we buy the lots and stone, thinking they then belonged to us, only to learn strangers have more control over them than the owners do. If some were leaving their lots looking messy or unkept, I could understand making them straighten up their lots. Another thing I noticed was that someone had pushed a planter with dead flowers up under one of the bushes on my parents graves. They left two other dead planters sitting in front of my parents stone, plus mine with live flowers sitting where I had set it, behind the stone ( where my mother had always told me she wanted it when I was first just taking them for my Father, so I continued setting the planter there for both of them. Those hadn`t been moved, so why move the planter I put on my husbands. Why different rules, or hadn`t they gotten to that road yet. Will things start disappearing there later, and if so, how will they place that huge urn my sister-in-law placed on my oldest brother`s lot. It sure will not fit in the smaller place between my oldest brother and and my other brother`s stone. What will they do with all the other flower pots that other members had placed on our parents. Will they remove some. I still have a lot of questions to be answered once the fellow in charge calls me back to set up a time and day for me to pick up everything that was removed from ,my husbands.

Well, time to start thinking of happier thoughts since I cannot do anything about the changes, it just upsets me. I told the fellow I did speak to that I am sure that one complainer will be nothing compared to all the complaints they will probably get now from unhappy relatives that visit their loved one and find things removed.

Labels: 2011, decorations removed, Father`s Day, June19