Friday, October 17, 2008


Friday, Oct 12th, 2008-Memories and Dancing

Dancing- and memories.

Remembering times long gone. I used to attend every Dance held in our High School. I always enjoyed dancing. There was a time when I knew how to dance on roller skates and that was also fun, But the dances running through my mind at the present time were after I married.

We had a double wedding along with one sister and her husband. Both of us married men with the first name "Walt". Funny how neither of us had any friends named Walter, but we ended up both marrying a man named Walter ( well my Walt was 25, so a grown man, her`s was 20 while 21 was considered grown up for men and 18 for girls back then). We celebrated our Wedding Anniversaries together for many years. I remember one time when we were out dancing and enjoying the band -playing country songs. There was this fellow who had a bit too much to drink. He was no one we knew. At the end of the evening as we were leaving, this drunken man started following us up the stairs. When we reached the top of the stairs he suddenly looked at my husband and said " And you-" and he put up one fist like he wanted to fight. We tried to ignore him and headed towards the door. This fellow sat his drink down on a trophy case and it tipped over running into the case. my sister`s husband headed downstairs to notify the owners before their trophies were destroyed. Walt, my sister and I headed out the door. Before we had gotten very far, this other fellow started following us. We watched him lose one of his shoes in the high snow, but he just kept slowly wobbling along , not even acting like he knew his shoe was gone. He kept trying to pick a fight. Thank goodness my husband isn`t one who lets people like him bother him. I remember the drunk was trying to tell my husband that he was the one who hit him downstairs. Of course it never happened. We hadn`t seen anyone hitting another person all evening, so had no idea what this man was talking about. This was when my sister`s husband caught up with us. As he passed this man we heard the man asking my brother-in-law if he was the one who hit him downstairs. My Bro-I-Law told him that the man who hit him must be still downstairs. The man turned around and headed back through the door looking for the man who he said hit him. I wonder if he ever did get his shoe from the snowdrift. Personally, I don`t think anyone ever hit him, as the dance floor was one huge open room and if there had been any fight, everyone should have seen it. I think he was just one who likes to fight when he has had too much to drink. I will never know how that night ended for that man as we got into our car and headed home.

Another time we were out dancing with my youngest sister and her husband. That is one night that I will never forget. This other brother-in-law was one whop was always trying to be funny. He wasn`t a trouble maker. Just one who knew how to liven up an evening. But this night, he had me worrying that we would all be kicked out of the place. We were sitting beside where the band was playing and there was a square dance going on in front of where we sat. None of us knew that this BRO-I-Law had brought some sneezing powder with him. In fact we were all surprised that he did. Well, here was the square dance group dancing right in front of our table. My bro-IN-law reached under the table and squirted some sneezing powder towards the dance floor. Everyone in that square dance set started sneezing. One fellow walked over and took the cowboy hat off another fellow, thinking he was responsible, then he dropped the hat on the floor and stepped on it.The other fellow picked up his hat , straightened it out and placed it back on his head. A few minutes later the other fellow again started sneezing. Again he walked over and took the hat, placed it on the floor and started stomping on it again. This time the fellow that owned the hat picked up his hat and placed it back on his head leaving it all bent up. All this time I was expecting the owners to catch on to what was going on and expected him to toss us all out. But this never happened. There was this poor waitress who just happened to walk by with a tray filled with drinks and there must have been sneezing powder still in the air. I felt so sorry for her as I watched her walking the whole length of that large room, all the time trying to hold back a sneeze. She managed to deliver the drinks before the sneeze took over and you could here her all over the room. That was when the BRO-I-Law decided not to spray any more of his sneezing powder and I was finally able to relax and start enjoying myself. After all I was married to a good dancer. I remember how he used to say he needed a drink before he could get on the dance floor. He never was a big drinker, but that one drink, he just felt he needed for courage to get on the floor. Then we would dance for hours or until it was time for the place to close. I remember back then, they only sold ginger-ale and no other soft drinks as they do today. When we joined in the square dancing, we made sure to go to the other side of the room where the sneezing powder wouldn`t start us sneezing. I am glad the square dancers were not the type to get angry with each other, or the night might have ended up much differently.

I remember the first time we ever danced together. He was an orderly at the hospital where I also worked. The Hospital threw a Christmas party for all it`s workers and Walt and I were just dating at that time. Another couple friends rode in his car with us. At the party some of our friends were daring each other to dance with the lady who was head of Nurses. They kept daring each other to ask her to dance and finally Walt walked up to her and did ask her to dance. We were all surprised when she accepted and danced with him. She was an older lady and back then we were young- I was just 19, Walt was 24, and many of the others were young. I noticed most others stopped dancing and everyone was staring at Walt and the head of Nursing out on the floor dancing together. This was a sight that surprised everyone. This lady was a strict ordering type of person, not especially liked by most. So, this was another side of her that we had never seen before. It was like she was finally acting human for a change. This was the night when I found out what a good dancer Walt was. It was also the first time I had ever seen him drinking more than a couple beers. That night didn`t have a good ending. Oh, the party and dancing were great. it was when we were getting ready to leave. I refused to let Walt drive us all home. First I tried to get him to let me call my father to pick us up, and when that didn`t work, we started tossing the keys back and forth over the car to keep him from getting them as we knew he shouldn`t drive. After a while the other lad missed catching the keys and they landed somewhere in the high snow. The owners loaned us some flashlights to hunt for the keys. Once we found them, we finally convinced Walt to get in the passenger seat and let me drive us home. At the time I had passed drivers training in High School, but had no car to take the test with. So, I only had a permit at the time. But, back then you could drive as long as you had a Licensed driver in the car with you. it was snowing so bad you couldn`t even see the front of the car you were in. I had ridden this road we took every day on my way to and from work, so I knew every bend in it. All was great for the first 45 minutes driving home. Then we were nearing where we would need to turn and cross a small bridge. I decided to park the car off the side of the road and walk to the bridge so I could be sure just how far away we were from it. I had no more than gotten back in to the car when we were hit by two cars, one had come from the bridge, the other had turned the corner just a short ways ahead of where we were sitting. As it was, our car wasn`t moving and we had 2 tires off the edge of the road when the other 2 cars hit each other and ended up striking our car. Thanks goodness no one was moving very fast with the bad storm. So, no one was hurt, just a little damage to the other two cars where they first hit each other. I am glad I had just gotten back into the car and shut the door before it happened, as no one could have seen me in the blinding snow. All three cars occupants had to go to the police station to sign the papers about the accident. I found it easier to follow the police car with it`s red light flashing on top. At the station Walt tried to insist I wasn`t driving, that he was. The officer knew he wasn`t driving, but when he kept insisting, the police chief finally told him- ok, so you want it listed that you were driving. I kept insisting that I was driving, not him and the officer was shaking his head yes- agreeing with me. But, when Walt kept talking the chief ended up giving him a ticket for driving under the influence. The next day, Walt felt like a fool for the way he thought he was protecting me. By law, it was legal for me to take over doing the driving, but Walt didn`t know that. He thought he was protecting me, and only messed up things for himself by doing so. Today the kids can`t drive late at night unless they are going to and from work, but back then you could even drive a motorcycle with the same drivers permit. In fact I used my permit more for driving the motorcycle than for driving a car. Two of my brothers had cycles, so they were handy and there was always a brother with a license on another cycle riding with me. Today, you need two different Licenses, one for a car and another for a motorcycle. Things get more complicated all the time. Probably changed it as another means for the government to collect more money. I wonder how the government was able to keep running so well when it was collecting less money years ago. Seems like the more laws they make to collect more money. the less they do with the money.

Well, to get back to the fun times dancing, there were many many times over the years when we had lots of fun. There was this time when we double dated again with the one who had the sneezing powder. We went to a different place to dance this time. This bro-In-law wasn`t much of a drinker, but this one time he had a few so my sister insisted she was driving us home, not him. It was there car this time. He wasn`t drunk and wanted to do the driving, but it was a bad road and needed a real alert person to safely drive down it. There was always accidents there in the winter snow. My sister and I told him if he didn`t get in the back seat, we were going to toss him in the trunk. Of course we were just fooling around , but when he realized my sister was serious about driving, he finally did get in the back seat with Walt. The place was situated in the Adirondack Mountains and the road leading out from it was real steep. As usual it had started snowing and the road was slippery and a bit scary till we finally reached the highway where it was plowed better. I came from a family of non-drinkers. There were a couple of in-laws who drank, but none from either my mother or fathers family. Even at our weddings, there was no alcoholic drinks served. So, I grew up accepting anyone who had a few drinks, but not one who was a real drunk. As I told my kids, it isn`t the drink I am against, it is the drinks that first drink sometimes leads to. I still feel that way today. I don`t mind as long as the person doesn`t turn into someone who changes so much that they become mean and abusive. How can someone say they love someone and beat or try to choke them when they are drunk? That is not my idea of love. I don`t understand hurting someone you claim to love. But, I know it happens, I just couldn`t live that way. Children deserve better than to be caught in this type of situation.

I could go on and on writing about the many times we went dancing through-out my marriage. The very last time was at our 50th Wedding Anniversary party that our kids threw for us. It was kept a surprise and we never knew until that very night. One of the twins had invited us out for supper with him and his wife. After he picked us up, he said he had to stop and pick up his wife who had delivered a car to a friend. When he parked behind the place, he asked us to come inside with him and meet their friend. No more than we took a couple steps through the door I noticed one of my sisters standing near the corner. That was when I knew something was up. The kids had been planning this party for almost a year and no one let the secret out. Even my family all knew and kept silent. Now, that is something when you come from a large family as I did.
They threw the party a few months early because they feared if they waited their Dad wouldn`t be able to attend. Walt insisted on dancing with me that evening. I worried it might be too much for him, but he said " I want to dance with you." So we danced quite a few times before the evening was over. I remember closely watching his face every few minutes in case he started looking too tired. Precious memories that will always mean a lot to me. Dancing with my head on his shoulder and his arms holding me as we glided across the floor together. That was our last time dancing together. He went on oxygen shortly after that. We knew his emphysema was getting much worse and that was why the kids decided on giving us the Anniversary Party a few months early. We spent 50 Anniversaries together. So many wonderful memories, so many places where we danced to the country music bands. Country music was always my favorite music.

Hi Dot - I always enjoy your stories, and I was so glad to see you had written again. Oh the dances sound wonderful; I'm happy you have those memories. Not too many people I've known have been married for 50 years although my parents were, and I had an aunt & uncle who had over 70!

I know what you mean about the drinking and being abusive; sometimes the verbal abuse hurts even worse than the physical. My daughter is in a marriage like that; they've been separated a year now but since Ben passed away, he's tried to come back into the picture. I hope my daughter will be strong enough with all of her grief to keep him away unless, of course, he get some badly needed help.

Take care of yourself, and thanks so much for always leaving such kind comments to me. I treasure our friendship, I really do. Love to you and yours.

P.S. I was always the "wallflower" at the dances; too shy. :)
Dot, the stories are so sweet and what shines through is that you had an amazing marriage!
Oh, I loved reading your dancing stories! So very interesting, what great memories you have. Thanks for sharing them with us.
Lovely dancing stories, Dot. I love them.
Glad you liked my virtual pet. You can feed him too. Click on the 'more' button near it and you will get an apple to feed it with. It also rolls in the mud and then you can spray it clean with the spray bottle.
Those were all great stories.
Persoanlly i would have hit the drunk and left him with his shoe in the snow.

You an Walt had your adventures on many a dance floor.
I think i went to every school dance that was ever held in my school to and remember many of them fondly.
Not that I'm a good dancer but for the andrenaline rush I got dancing.
Wow Dot..this was so lovely..this was like reading a novel..a fairytale book..I wanted it to go on and on and on...its so,lovely to ready anything you you have pics of your 50th anniversary? I would love to see them...

Take care of yourself..winters approaching..keep warm..and stay loved..

With many hugs and LOTS N LOTS of LOVE..
Thanks Sally. 70 yrs is great.I have an Aunt & Uncle who celebrated their 67th Anniversary this past April and the uncle who passed away last February had been married for 68 years. My parents had a little over 50 yrs, same as Walt and I did.
I wish the best for your daughter. I had a daughter who was married to the most wonderful man when he was sober and the most dangerous one when he drank. His favorite was chocking. I often awoke during the night to hear her screaming and i would get dressed and run next door. One time he told me i had better watch out as even his mother was afraid of him. I told him I wasn`t his mother and I was not scared of him, but he better be scared of me if he doesn`t cool it. Time came when he was the one scared. If only his mother had once stood up to him, she would accomplished the same effect. That daughter got re-married last year to a great fellow. At different times I held son-in-laws guns for safety. Glad those days are over.
So, I know your fears for your daughters safety should she go back with him.
I was bashful as a kid, but never lacked dancing partners at school dances.
Thanks for stopping by. Sending Love right back to you my friend.
Thanks Hillgrandmom. Like everyone we had our disagreements, but they never got out of hand. neither of us lost control and therefore learned to work things out. Neither of us thought we were always right.
thanks for stopping by. I also enjoy reading your post.
PBS, Thanks for the nice words and also thank you for stopping by me blog.
3-in-one, your pet reminds me of when I was a small kid and my uncle `s mother sow died leaving a lot of new baby piglets needing to be fed. After school and on week-ends, all of us, plus many of our friends used to line up on the farm porch next door, holding a tiny piglet and a baby bottle. We thought it was fun and my Uncle sure appreciated our help. Next time i come by, I will further check out your pet.
Thanks Walker. I always did love dancing. As a teenager I even learned to dance on roller skates. Funny thing was years later when my older kids were teenagers a father came to pick up his daughter ( she was a school friend of one of my daughters). I knew he looked familiar and had the same first name as the fellow who taught me how to dance at the roller rink we attended. I asked him if he went to that Roller Skating place back in the 40`s and he said yes. I didn`t think he remembered me, so I never asked if he was the great dancer on skates. I do think it was him. They moved away from here the following year when his wife died.
As for the guy who lost his shoe in the snow, I think Walt felt the same way, but he knew how I felt about fighting when it wasn`t necessary for protecting someone.
Yes Cis, i do have pictures, but not sure where to look as I have loads and loads of pictures- and still taking more all the time. One of these days I need to put them into some sort of order. Got to be way too many to put into more photograph albums. Have taken plenty in the over 6 years since our 50th Anniversary party.
Still raining out, but expecting it to turn to snow before morning- will be our first snow storm of this season if it does end up snowing. Lots of love and hugs being sent back to you.
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