Dot`sThoughts

Sat., August 16th, `08
Wondering how .....?

I am left wondering how some people can forget others feelings when someone asks them to do a favor for them. One person`s selfishness caused a lot of hurt to others who had loved her totally.
This person was only related through the person they hurt the worst. Raised by a father who loved her, growing up with him, a step mother, half brothers and sisters and a birth brother -all had loved
her, Then in her 40`s she suddenly decided to dump this father and all the family in favor of her mother who had tried to smother her when she was a baby. The grandmother took her daughters baby and raised it while the father was in service stationed in Germany during the 2nd World War and even moved the father into their home with his daughter when he came home. The mother was considered unfit in court and the father was given full custody , but the father still allowed visiting rights in their Divorce, but the mother never once wanted to see the daughter. I learned this daughter had given her birth mother money and as long as she continued giving her money this B Mother continued to allow her to visit. Later on this daughter got tired of the treatment and asked the st. mother she had disowned to help her get her name off the home where her B M was living. Of course she had no power to do this. She told the daughter that she didn`t put her name there and she had no power to remove it. She didn`t want to go back to being part of the family, she just kept wanting favors when it was convenient for her. She felt she could use people when it was convenient and still not want anything to do with them if that was what her mother wanted her to do.
To cover her terrible actions, she started telling a lot of lies. When called on these lies, her answer was that she knew they were not true and still she used them to get money from the step mothers S-I-L-which was her goal when making up the lies.
This one S-I-L took it on herself to start more trouble. Then since many others had borrowed money from this person, they slowly came under her control, and that made it hard for them to ever tell her no. Every one had been asked not to bring up her name to those she had hurt so bad. Still when the S-I-L- wanted a phone # for the hurtful one, one Aunt called a niece and asked for the #. When this niece told her she didn`t have it and didn`t want to talk about the person, the Aunt mentioned she was calling for the S-I-L who wanted to get a message to her. This S-I-L already
had the # and never needed others to make a call for her. I am left with this question- How could this Aunt walk on a sister and her family for a S-I-L when they knew the whole story about all this girl had done to everyone. Of course, this Aunt never heard the story made up about her own family. When she learned this, she herself called this person to tell her how she felt about the lies. Still she can`t see any thing wrong with upsetting her own niece for this person. Her excuse was the S-I-L asked her the favor and she felt that made it ok. I guess living in a house the S-I-L now owns gives her power of control, regardless of who is getting hurt. How can money become more important than peoples feelings. Yesterday I was told the sister who made the call is still hurting and they felt the niece owed her an appology. My reply to this was that , since the other Aunt knew before making the call, she is the one who owes the apology. I knew they had all been asked not to mention that name to any of the family, so how can they feel they still had the right to do it and think the one who was hurt owes the apology. Another Aunt said it wasn`t the Aunts fault she made the phone call since she was asked to do it. Did the S-I-L have a gun to her back forcing her to do it?
Is it so impossible for them to say the word "no"? They sure say no to everyone else.
Guess I feel that families feeling should come first over the wishes of others. Am I too old fashioned? Does having money make a persons wishes that important. I have always heard the old saying that money talks. It just never worked that way for me. I could have had money anytime I wanted by just asking a brother and he would have gladly given it to me. I loved him, not his money. Am I that much different from most people. I sure hope not, or what is this world coming to? Isn`t it better to be loved than to just have lots of money? Money might be necessary, but a person should never be under someones control because of borrowing that money. I could not live that way- feeling I had to do whatever I was asked just for the privilege of being able to borrow money. If I owed someone, I wouldn`t feel good until I had scrimped and saved to pay them back every cent.

How could a S-I-L `s wishes become more important than a nieces. Shouldn`t sisters and their families come before the step daughter who had dumped everyone, especially when some of the lies were about a sister`s family? This step D had said there was only one person in the whole family that was any good and that was because this person she said was the only one with money. I guess money is all that matters to her.
I am still confused. I can`t understand why the person who was so hurt should owe an apology to the person who was in the wrong. It is almost like they are afraid of what the S-I-L might do if they refuse to do whatever she asks of them. I may have gotten someone mad at me for telling them how I felt, but if I had to agree with them just to get along, I don`t feel I could live with myself. I normally stay out of every disagreement when I can, but I can`t tell them what they did was right when I know how deep the pain is for the niece and know they also knew they should have respected her wishes and not been willing to cause more hurt. Such a lame excuse- I was asked to get the phone #. This person could have just called the small business that the hurtful person and her husband were running as that # is in the phone book. One told me she told her sister to call that niece because it was her favorite niece. What does the word favorite mean to her.
I don`t know what will happen next, but in my heart I know the niece`s feeling should have been considered. I know that Walt always thought I often allow others to walk on me just to keep peace in the family. And normally I would have kept silent this time too if I hadn`t known all the facts. It is one thing to be walking on my feelings, but another thing to be a party to hurting another`s feelings. I refuse to hurt others just to please someone.
I have learned that sometimes it helps to write things down, Now, I just hope the others can see why what they did was wrong. There is just one more thing to add and that is this st D never went to her own father`s funeral and the phone call to her st sister was because she (the step)
had asked to be told when the her sisters uncle died just because they had money.
Would you have phoned this sister for the phone # so you could tell her the st mother`s brother had died when you knew she never showed for their own father`s funeral? I know I couldn`t. Why didn`t they just call the S-I-L back and ask her for the number? Would that have been to hard? Some people only see wrong when they are the ones being hurt. Maybe I just care too much for others feelings. Just another thing I inherited from my parents.
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Monday Aug. 18, 08
Now that I have that off my chest, I will tell what I did yesterday while trying to cope with everything. I was out weeding in my flower bed that is located between my home and the home next door that I gave to a daughter a few years ago. ( She has lived there for over 20 years and never missed a rent payment in all those years. Walt agreed with me when I told him I felt this daughter deserved to have that home left to her. I felt she could have owned her own home if she had been paying that long buying a home. Plus I liked the idea of having family living next door to look after Walt if anything happened to me. Little did we know that Walt would be first to go. )

One grandson, his wife and their three sons are temporarily staying with his mother next door. I went out yesterday to do some weeding in my flower bed that goes along my driveway between the two driveways. The two oldest great grandsons came over to ask what I am doing. Then they both wanted to put the weeds I was pulling into the scrap pile at the end of the flower bed. The boys are now 3 and 5. So, after each few weeds pulled I handed them to first one and then the other great grandson. When I finally finished the weeding my grandson came out onto the porch with the little 1 yr old great grandson so I went to the porch to play with him for a while.

Next I decided to start cleaning up some of the dropped apples from the apple tree. I filled a large garbage bag about 1/3 full before I stopped to rest. It was so heavy that I got out my wheel barrel to carry the bag of apples to where the garbage barrels were on the other side of the house. At first I was going to carry the bag, But when the shoulder started to complain, I changed my mind in favor of getting the wheel barrel out of the shed. I only have a small area cleared under the tree, just enough to have walking space to reach the compost bin. The apples still are not eatable and the tree needed to be sprayed a couple more times. Only managed to spray the tree three times. But since it has rained every day I was not able to spray it enough times. Had the same rainy problem last summer. I feel bad tossing away so many apples. If only the sprays I was able to do had helped more. I do see improvement over last year. The tree never had apples until about 4 years ago and every year there are more. This year the tree is loaded, as is the ground under it. With all those apples, I could have kept the whole family and friends supplied and even canned some applesauce. Every year I hope to cure the problem so we can have apples fit for eating. I read on the net that the problem is caused by too much rain and of course I can`t prevent that. A few years ago I started using the fruit tree fertilizer sticks and using the spray to hopefully cure the apple blight ( I think that was what it was called). This spray is supposed to cure that. This year I plan on spraying on up till fall and hope it helps for next year. Walt was the big apple lover and that was why I started taking better care of the tree about 8 to 10 years ago. Just took quite a few years before there were any apples and years more before there were a lot of apples. Not soon enough for Walt to enjoy, now wondering if it will be in my lifetime. But, I am not giving up the spraying yet. I also keep the tree trimmed enough for it to get better sunlight and to keep the lower branches up off the ground. A lot of work every year. Hope it starts paying off before I get to old to do the work.
This apple tree was about 2 feet tall when the youngest daughter first brought it home from a school project. I thought it had died one year, but it came back with two trunks from the same original small trunk. it was so weak at that time that I was afraid if I cut off part of it I might lose both sections. Today both tree sections are taller than most apple trees around here and quite a large distance around. I never dared to cut off one section to give the other section a better chance as it takes two apple trees to bear fruit and I think the two sections must be working like two separate trees with all the apples they are now producing.

Rained again this morning, but they say we might have a couple dry days and it sure would be nice after weeks of rain. If so, maybe I can do another spray job. I finished building the cupboard and now have it sitting next to my kitchen stove. Just waiting for the ordered top to come in at the Lumber place. I had a top with a high back made, but wanted to laminate the top and I wouldn`t be able to bend the laminate up over the raised back, so that was why I decided to order the top. I have two cupboards there and am having one long top section cut to cover both plus the opening space I am leaving between the two cupboards. Now I am trying to decide if I want to make a narrow pull out section in the empty space to hold potatoes and onions ( would need separate shelves since putting them together can cause the potatoes to spoil faster) , or if I want the space for holding soda and the sparkling flavored water drinks to get them out of sight. Or I could just make a section where you can slide the bottles in sideways into separate round openings. OH, well, might not get the top section for another 2 weeks, so that gives me time to decide in. Well, guess I should get up and do something. So far all I have done is to make out the bills and put them in the mailbox. Just saw the mailman drive by, so now have mail to go get. I also spent quite a while on yahoo messenger with a granddaughter living in Virginia- same one who is hoping to have her baby on my Birthday. And of course I have fed and watered my Sassy and let her out and back in. I always take care of her first as soon as I get up. She is now so spoiled that she expects to be cared for first.
Well, this isn`t getting anything done. No washings to do as did that yesterday. So, I better stop playing and get busy.

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
Still Praying for better days.

Went to the hospital this morning to check on my sister Ginny (Virginia). The ambulance took her to the Hospital yesterday because she was having trouble breathing, so we thought it was her emphysema causing the problem. Turned out besides having emphysema, she had also had a Heart attack, plus she has shingles. She must also be feeling that it never rains but it pours. Dr told us her Heart was weak, but they were starting her on some meds that hopefully will strengthen her Heart. The shot they gave her last night had disolved one of the blockages and after putting her through the over 4 hour Heart test in the OR, they felt the other one wasn`t bad enough to require a stent now. Dr said she now has about a 30 % blockage in one vein. The other vein was about 75 % blocked before the blood clot dissolved.
So, I am worrying about my brother who is 4 years older than I am, and also worrying about a sister who is 4 years younger than I am.
While at the hospital, my other younger sister told me she goes into the hospital on Thursday for a fallen bladder operation. I guess we are all learning that we are getting older and that we should be expecting problems. But, that doesn`t make it any easier to handle.

My Granddaughter also called me last evening to tell me that her Dr has scheduled her to have the op on my Birthday. So, unless the little baby decides to come early, I will have this great granddaughter born on my Birthday. My granddaughter is so excited about it.

I am waiting for help to bring my new cupboard from my shop and into my kitchen. I wouldn`t be able to get it up the porch steps by myself. Once this is done, I will need to find another project to work on. I find it easier to handle hard times by keeping busy.

Guess I better stop for now as the thunderstorm sound like it is getting closer. I don`t use the computer, TV , or my electrical tools during thunderstorms. In face I unplug the phone line to my computer for added safety for my computer.

I am back. Thunderstorm seems to have moved out of the area now. Seems like all is does is rain. Going through the third straight week with only one day without rain.
Thursday is supposed to be a nice day if the weatherman is right. I didn`t have time before dark to go out and take care of my garden boxes. I`ll have to remember to do it in the morning before i go check on my 2 sisters who will both be in the Hospital tomorrow. Wouldn`t surprise me if they both end up being discharged on the same day. Neither of them will be able to do much when they first do go home. But they both have kids that will help them. Our family is so fortunate to have kids who are there for us when we need them. I thank my parents for the way they raised us so we knew how to raise our kids. We were taught that all the money in the world can`t buy the kind of happiness that Love can give to us. Oh, How true they were. I had one nephew whose father was a self made millionaire tell me once that he would give all the money his family had , for the kind of love he saw in my family. That father was the brother I just lost in June, but money never changed my brother, it did change his wife and she did her best to teach her children her value of money. Some did take after her, but a couple of their kids stayed like their wonderful Dad. One of these nephews was the one who spoke to me.

I am having problems with this brothers wife. She is one of those who will hug and kiss you when she sees you and run you down behind your back. I have learned to ignore her because I loved my brother so much and she never said mean things about our family where he could hear her. So, I doubt he would have believed she was like that when she was so sweet when he was around. I often wonder how long the family will put up with her meanness now that they don`t feel they have to for my brothers sake. Me, I could care less what she thinks. I have let it go in one ear and out the other for so long, I just never waste time worrying about it. I know my other brother and one sister had a spat with her last week. I heard after they finished telling her how cruel she was, she said she was sorry and even went so far as to tell them that if she ever stepped out of line again they were to tell her to shut up. Now, I wait to see how that works. If she doesn`t want to feel more alone, then she better start treating the family better. I hope for her sake she starts thinking before she speaks from now on. She will soon find out that her money doesn`t hold any value with us. I am the only family member who would never take a penny from them. Walt and I made it on our own and were always proud of it. The rest of the family has taken money, so that gave her a feeling she could control them. I know she will soon lose her power since she put one of her son`s in charge to handle everything for her and he isn`t the type to just toss money around like my brother could. He will closer watch where the money goes to be sure his mother has what she needs for the rest of her life. Some of the family feels he will watch even closer knowing if anything happens to their mother what is left will go to him and his brothers and sister. But, I think he might see a little dementia in his mom and thats why he is being more careful for her sake.

Well, I didn`t intend on telling so many problems. I am one who seldom tells others my problems. In fact, my sister who just had the Heart attack told me she learned that I was at the hospital a couple weeks ago for kidney stones. She also said I never told her I had the biopsy done earlier this summer, or that I was at the hospital for other problems last winter. Guess one of my kids had told her. I told her everything was benign- no cancer either time, so I was the lucky one. And why tell the family and have them worrying needlessly, that is how I felt. Our family has always had enough to worry about without adding mine, which were not serious. The worst that happened was when one minni stroke left me with double vision. Now that has been a big pain, but with the prisms in my glasses I do fine. I only need glasses because I need the prisms. The family knows about the sleep apnea and the C-Flex and full mask that I sleep with every night because I had to take the machine with me when I went to the older sisters son`s wedding a few years ago and they know about the arthritis because you can`t hide that when your hands look like mine. But, as long as I can still use them, I will manage that also. God has been good to me.I pray things get better for my brother and sister. They are much worse off than I am as far as I feel.

Well, time to stop thinking of bad things and start looking on the brighter side. As they say, tomorrow is another day and things often look brighter in the morning. It is 20 minutes after 11 PM, so if I plan on going to the hospital again tomorrow, guess I should try and get some sleep.

I have been so worried about my brother and today i was told what i was fearing right along. I heard the Dr gave him about a year to a year and a half to live with all the bone cancer they discovered with the tests. This is the same brother who had a leg removed almost 2 years ago due to osteomyelitis- which is a kind of bone infection. Today they have better cures for it and it is usually treated before it gets as bad as his got. He had trouble with that leg since the age of 14. Back then the Dr told my parents that my brother wouldn`t last through the night unless they removed his leg. My Mother refused to sign as her faith made her feel he would make it and still keep his leg. They used magets back then to eat the dead infected flesh and bone while they won`t eat healthy flesh or healthy bone. They had to drain the fluid from the knee twice to try to keep the infection from going above his knee and killing him. With the knee fluid removed, the Dr said he would never walk again and his knee would never bend. He spent over a year in the hospital, and another year in a wheel chair being school tutored at home before he was able to spend the following year going to school on crutches. He finally was able to walk and that was a happy day for the whole family. His last year of High School, he often rode his bicycle to school. I used to walk fast beside him till we reached the steep hill, then I often coasted down the hill to the School riding on the cross bar of his bike. So, he went through a lot keeping his leg for so many years. I am glad our Mother and Father never had to see him lose it after such a long battle. Then a couple years ago he had cancer in his throat and they removed his gland and the op was successful according to the Dr`s and tests. Then he went through lots with kidney stones. Seems like as soon as he wins one battle, he has a new one to fight. I pray the Dr is wrong and he fools them again by fighting this bone cancer. He is just now beginning to walk with the leg prothesis and the walker.

I once had three brothers. Lost my younger brother at age 60 from Heart problems- 14 years ago, then we lost our oldest brother on June 9, 08 ( 2 months ago), also from heart problems, and now it is my other older brother we are praying for. Over the years every time we lost someone, we always lost two more before that year was over. Now we seem to be on an every 2 year losing streak. This started when I lost my darling husband 6 years ago. Two years later my youngest sister lost her husband from an accident, then 2 years after that my oldest sister lost her husband due to medical problems, then this year we lost our oldest brother. I want to say When does it stop, but I know there is no answer to my question. Also lost an Uncle and a cousin lost her husband this past winter. I know i should expect to lose loved ones as we are all getting older, but then i think of some who are in their 90 and still doing good. Guess they must have received good healthy genes, or something. My Mom was 4 days before her 81 st birthday, my Dad was only 72. My oldest brother was 83 and this bro is 81. He is a fighter, but this time I can hear the defeat more in his voice. Now, I am scared myself and i don`t like feeling this way. I will need to stay strong for him. I just hope i can.

Sorry for such a downer post, but I am hoping writing it down with help me get through this terrible worry. I can`t talk about it much to others as I am not supposed to know. My brother made them promise not to tell us. I am glad they decided we should be told. (They is my nephew and his girlfriend who took him to the Dr apt.. They moved in with him after his leg removal and have been helping care for him.). Now, we have to keep our brother from hearing that we were told against his wishes.
Another nephew stopped by today to tell me he has put a down payment on a 5 bedroom home a few street from where i live. I am happy for him. He is a hard worker and with rent prices today, it is nice to have his money buying his own home. He is married with two older teenagers.

Friday, August 08, 2008 7:36 PM
Subject: Friday, August 08, 2008 7:36 PM
Subject: Hoping for the best- Health/Shop/ crochet/ garden


Hoping for a slowing of Arthritis and no more kidney stones so I can finish what I have started.

Here I am trying to decide what to write about today. Think I have finally won the kidney stone battle, at least for the time being. Yesterday, I was even feeling up to going back to the Hospital Wellness Clinic to use most of their exercise equipment, bands and weights. Still can`t do much that requires moving the right arm in a certain out-ward position due to tendinitis with a pinched nerve in the shoulder socket. Dr says it would require an op to release the pinched nerve and remove the pain. But, I am not doing an op, at least not now, unless the pain gets unbearable. I have discovered that taking a muscle reliever before going to bed helps with the pain. I just worry if the relaxer might cause some problem with the sleep apnea and using the C-Flex machine every night for sleep apnea.

I am hoping the arthritis doesn`t cripple my fingers any more crooked than they already are so I can continue building in my wood shop. Can`t hold a regular sewing needle or other small items without dropping them, but can use my tools with their larger sixes. Glad hammers and most other tools come with larger handles. Right now I am still in the process of building a bottom kitchen cupboard. I added the back on yesterday. Checked with the local Curtis Lumber co. and they no longer sell the tops with the gold fleck on white backward. They wanted to sell me new tops for all the kitchen cupboards to make it all match. But, at my age, it doesn`t feel necessary to spend that much money when the old tops are still in good condition. Only problem is you can`t buy just what you need, they only sell tops in 8 foot sections. So, I am already thinking what i can build to use up the rest of the 8 feet. Thought of just buying plastic laminate for the top, but it won`t bend to cover the high back section and i do want the back section to match the style of the other older cupboards. This cupboard will have a kitchen stove sitting between it and the older ones. So, I looked for one that wouldn`t stick out like a sore thumb. I thought of buying the Butcher Block top, as that wouldn`t matter that it didn`t match. But then I got to thinking about how I would need to keep restoring it and with my fingers, that might become harder as the years pass. Had the doors put on my cupboard , but one center edge didn`t properly connect perfectly with the center edge of the other door, so I have removed some screws and filled the tiny holes with wood putty. Next thing to do is to re- add the doors, hopefully hitting properly this time. Guess having double vision isn`t much help as when you are bending your head down working the prisms lined glasses don`t stay lined perfectly. I need to find something to support both doors wide open so i can better line up the doors. Ever look at some of the bought cupboards and notice that some of the doors are not properly lined up. My daughter just bought new kitchen cupboards and that was the first thing we noticed when they put one of the cupboard up on the wall. One door was about 1/8 inch above the other. She was a bit irritated considering the price she paid for them. I don`t think people today are as proud of their work as the older ones were. Maybe it is because most work is done with machines leaving them little head work to feel proud of. I guess since they get the same pay for each hours work , regardless of the results, they don`t worry about perfection. With mine, it was such a speck off that I could have done a little shaving to make them meet right and no one would have noticed I shaved it. But, problem is that every time I looked at it I would know. Every time someone told me how nice it looked, I would know.

I learned years ago to add the smaller enlargers (similar to the pencil enlargers) onto the crochet hooks which makes them large enough around to enable me to hang onto them better. They don`t work so well on knitting needles. I just finished the small crocheted clown to match the colors in the baby afghan I crocheted for the next great granddaughter. My grand daughter decided she wanted to have her daughter on Sept. 4th ,which is my birthday. Isn`t it great having a granddaughter who loves you so much that she wants to have her baby on your birthday? Now, the Dr agreed to do the op then, but lets see if mother nature gets in the way causing her to have the baby earlier. Since she is expecting the first week of Sept., I worry that she might be disappointed and it might come earlier. Will just have to wait and see. Either way, I am happy she was thinking of me. Will know more after her apt. with the Dr on Monday. I had one of my daughters on my older sister`s birthday. She has 4 boys and would have loved to have had a daughter. They just both celebrated their birthdays on July 27th.
As long as the new great granddaughter is born healthy, that is what realy counts.

I can hear the music from the ice cream truck going down our road. With all the rain every day, he can`t be doing very good business this past week. His music has me thinking of ice cream. I have Banana Split and Black Raspberry in my freezer. I finished the Maple Walnut a couple days ago. The root beer is also gone. I liked adding that to a mug of root beer. As close to the root beer floats i loved as a child. I remember after graduation, when I started working at the hospital, I would allow myself a Root Beer float on pay day every week. OH, How I looked forward to that one treat. Sometimes I splurged further and bought a Banana Split, with the banana, the three kinds of ice cream, the three types of toppings and the nuts sprinkled over the top and all topped with a cherry. My mouth waters just thinking of those delicious banana splits. I sometimes still make them at home, but not as often as I did when I was making them for Walt. Maybe i will close this off and treat myself to a ice cream soda. Glad i don`t get this hankering very often or it would undo all my hard exercise work at the clinic.
Ha Haa.
I should be out picking more string beans, but hard to do that in the rain. If I don`t pick them soon they will get too big. Have three large cucumbers that will also need to be picked in the next few days before they get so large they are filled with more seeds. I know there will be more ripe tomatoes waiting to be picked as they were almost ripe yesterday. Gave away more lettuce yesterday as it is growing faster than I can eat it. Have a lot of large peppers to take care of soon. I freeze a lot of them. Still have three more in the freezer from last Sept to use up. Have some of this years string beans already in the freezer. Still have a few canned jars left from last summers crop. Living alone, i don`t use them up as fast as I used to. Usually I have so much zucchini that I give lots away. This year that is the only thing not doing so well. The heavy rain seems to be knocking the blossoms off to early.

Well, I didn`t tell you, but I did stop and make the root beer with ice cream float and must admit that it sure tastes good.
Has stopped raining, so i should go check on the garden boxes.
So, I`m off before the rain starts again.


Since I haven`t posted this yet I will add what I picked from my garden earth boxes a few minutes ago.
I picked a few green string beans, a lot of yellow string beans, some lettuce, 3 large cucumbers, 7 large peppers, 7 large tomatoes and some cherry tomatoes. Glad I took out the large strainer my youngest sister gave me years ago as it was so overfilled that the peppers and cucumbers were just balancing on top of all the rest. I was afraid I would dump off some before I managed to get them into the house. My sisters husband used to have a garden and he often needed a larger container to carry in his veggies. That is why she thought I might also like owning one. He had a normal ground garden with little space and still did well. She lost him 4 years ago from an accident -falling from a ladder that was balancing on the tree in their back yard at the camp where they lived. My older sister lost her husband 2 years ago. Been 6 empty years since I lost Walt. I have one sister still married and he was in the worst shape having by-pass surgery over 8 years ago. I worry the most about my only brother who just was told he had bone cancer in quite a few places. Still waiting to see what the Dr plans on doing next. I feel he has gone through enough. Removing the gland , he was able to beat cancer in his throat, lost the battle with his leg along with kidney stones and other problems, and now this. I do a lot of praying. He is the only brother we have left. One of my younger sisters has emphysema and just won the battle of double pneumonia and I also worry about her. Guess we all have people we worry about. Keeps us from thinking too much about our own problems. There is always some much worse off than we are. So, I do feel lucky that so far my problems are some I can live with.

Hoping for a slowing of Arthritis and no more kidney stones so I can finish what I have started.

Here I am trying to decide what to write about today. Think I have finally won the kidney stone battle, at least for the time being. Yesterday, I was even feeling up to going back to the Hospital Wellness Clinic to use most of their exercise equipment, bands and weights. Still can`t do much that requires moving the right arm in a certain out-ward position due to tendinitis with a pinched nerve in the shoulder socket. Dr says it would require an op to release the pinched nerve and remove the pain. But, I am not doing an op, at least not now, unless the pain gets unbearable. I have discovered that taking a muscle reliever before going to bed helps with the pain. I just worry if the relaxer might cause some problem with the sleep apnea and using the C-Flex machine every night for sleep apnea.

I am hoping the arthritis doesn`t cripple my fingers any more crooked than they already are so I can continue building in my wood shop. Can`t hold a regular sewing needle or other small items without dropping them, but can use my tools with their larger sixes. Glad hammers and most other tools come with larger handles. Right now I am still in the process of building a bottom kitchen cupboard. I added the back on yesterday. Checked with the local Curtis Lumber co. and they no longer sell the tops with the gold fleck on white backward. They wanted to sell me new tops for all the kitchen cupboards to make it all match. But, at my age, it doesn`t feel necessary to spend that much money when the old tops are still in good condition. Only problem is you can`t buy just what you need, they only sell tops in 8 foot sections. So, I am already thinking what i can build to use up the reat of the feet. Thought of just buying plastic laminate for the top, but it won`t bend to cover the high back section and i do want the back section to match the style of the other older cupboards. This cupboard will have a kitchen stove sitting between it and the older ones. So, I looked for one that wouldn`t stick out like a sore thumb. I thought of buying the Butcher Block top, as that wouldn`t matter that it didn`t match. But then I got to thinking about how I would need to keep restoring it and with my fingers, that might become harder as the years pass. Had the doors put on my cupboard , but one center edge didn`t properly connect perfectly with the center edge of the other door, so I have removed some screws and filled the tiny holes with wood putty. Next thing to do is to re- add the doors, hopefully hitting properly this time. Guess having double vision isn`t much help as when you are bending your head down working the prisms lined glasses don`t stay lined perfectly. I need to find something to support both doors wide open so i can better line up the doors. Ever look at some of the bought cupboards and notice that some of the doors are not properly lined up. My daughter just bought new kitchen cupboards and that was the first thing we noticed when they put one ot the cupboard up on the wall. One door was about 1/8 inch above the other. She was a bit irritated concidering the price she paid for them. I don`t think people today are as proud of their work as the older ones were. Maybe it is because most work is done with machines leaving them little head work to feel proud of. I guess since they get the same pay for each hours work , regardless of the results, they don`t worry about perfection. With mine, it was such a speck off that I could have done a little shaving to make them meet right and no one would have noticed I shaved it. But, problem is that every time I looked at it I would know. Every time someone told me how nice it looked, I would know.

I learned years ago to add the smaller enlargers (similar to the pencil enlargers) onto the crochet hooks which makes them large enough around to enable me to hang onto them better. They don`t work so well on knitting needles. I just finished the small crocheted clown to match the colors in the baby afghan I crocheted for the next great granddaughter. My grand daughter decided she wanted to have her daughter on Sept. 4th ,which is my birthday. Isn`t it great having a granddaughter who loves you so much that she wants to have her baby on your birthday? Now, the Dr agreed to do the op then, but lets see if mother nature gets in the way causing her to have the baby earlier. Since she is expecting the first week of Sept., I worry that she might be disappointed and it might come earlier. Will just have to wait and see. Either way, I am happy she was thinking of me. Will know more after her apt. with the Dr on Monday. I had one of my daughters on my older sister`s birthday. She has 4 boys and would have loved to have had a daughter. They just both celebrated their birthdays on July 27th.
As long as the new great granddaughter is born healthy, that is what realy counts.

I can hear the music from the ice cream truck going down our road. With all the rain every day, he can`t be doing very good business this past week. His music has me thinking of ice cream. I have Banana Split and Black Raspberry in my freezer. I finished the Maple Walnut a couple days ago. The root beer is also gone. I liked adding that to a mug of root beer. As close to the root beer floats i loved as a child. I remember after graduation, when I started working at the hospital, I would allow myself a Root Beer float on pay day every week. OH, How I looked forward to that one treat. Sometimes I splurged further and bought a Banana Split, with the banana, the three kinds of ice cream, the three types of toppings and the nuts sprinkled over the top and all topped with a cherry. My mouth waters just thinking of those delicious banana splits. I sometimes still make them at home, but not as often as I did when I was making them for Walt. Maybe i will close this off and treat myself to a ice cream soda. Glad i don`t get this hankering very often or it would undo all my hard exercise work at the clinic.
Ha Ha.
I should be out picking more string beans, but hard to do that in the rain. If I don`t pick them soon they will get too big. Have three large cucumbers that will also need to be picked in the next few days before they get so large they are filled with more seeds. I know there will be more ripe tomatoes waiting to be picked as they were almost ripe yesterday. Gave away more lettuce yesterday as it is growing faster than I can eat it. Have a lot of large peppers to take care of soon. I freeze a lot of them. Still have three more in the freezer from last Sept to use up. Have some of this years string beans already in the freezer. Still have a few canned jars left from last summers crop. Living alone, i don`t use them up as fast as I used to. Usually I have so much zucchini that i give lots away. This year that is the only thing not doing so well. The heavy rain seems to be knocking the blossoms off to early.

Well, I didn`t tell you, but I did stop and make the root beer with ice cream float and must admit that it sure tastes good.
Has stopped raining, so i should go check on the garden boxes.
So, I`m off before the rain starts again.


Since I haven`t posted this yet I will add what i picked from my garden earth boxes.
I picked a few green string beans, a lot of yellow string beans, some lettus, 3 large cucumbers, 7 large peppers, 7 large tomatoes and some cherry tomatoes. Glad I took out the large strainer my youngest sister gave me years ago as it was so overfilled that the peppers and cucumbers were just balancing on top of all the rest. I was afraid I would dump off some before I managed to get them into the house. My sisters husband used to have a garden and he often needed a larger container to carry in his veggies. That is why she thought I might also like owning one. He had a normal ground garden with little space and still did well. She lost him 4 years ago from an accident -falling from a ladder that was balancing on the tree in their back yard at the camp where they lived. My older sister lost her husband 2 years ago. Been 6 empty years since I lost Walt. I have one sister still married and he was in the worst shape having by-pass surgery over 8 years ago. I worry the most about my only brother who just was told he had bone cancer in quite a few places. Still waiting to see what the Dr plans on doing next. I feel he has gone through enough. Removing the gland , he was able to beat cancer in his throat, lost the battle with his leg along with kidney stones and other problems, and now this. I do a lot of praying. He is the only brother we have left. One of my younger sisters has emphysema and just won the battle of double pneumonia and I also worry about her. Guess we all have people we worry about. Keeps us from thinking too much about our own problems. There is always some much worse off than we are. So, I do feel lucky that so far my problems are some I can live with.