Dot`sThoughts

Sorry I haven`t been writing lately. Had so much to do getting ready for Christmas- even had some crocheting to get finished in time. Plus I had to finish the knitted hooded baby sweater that was owed to a granddaughter for her little one. I still need to sew in the zipper, but the sweater is finished when I do. I can`t hold a small sewing needle to sew the zipper in by hand like I used to do and will have to do it on my sewing machine. If anyone has ever tried sewing in a zipper onto knitted yarn, then you know it is no easy job. I should be doing that now, but I probably wouldn`t do a very good job today.

Last week I sat and wrote a long post about what my Anniversary Day meant to me. Company showed up while I was writing it so I saved it in a draft and when I went looking for it to post it, it had somehow disappeared. I spent part of yesterday and again today searching for it. I knew I wouldn`t do well trying to write it today, so I did it last week. Today would have been my 56th Wedding Anniversary, and the 6th one since I lost my loving Husband. Why, oh why did we ever get married so close to Christmas. It was wonderful for the 50 Anniversaries we celebrated together. No one ever told me it might someday take a lot of the pleasure out of the Christmas season , but that`s what it is doing this year. I am doing my best to look cheerful for the family`s sake, but once it started getting later in the evening and I knew no one would be stopping by, then it became a struggle for me. One daughter stopped by with her 3 year old daughter for Christmas because she is a Guard at a prison and couldn`t get Christmas day off. Yesterday her eldest daughter stopped by with her little 2 year old daughter as she works in a home for the handicap and also will be working on Christmas Day.

I started today off by heading to the drugstore to buy a new card for my digital camera so I could take more pictures when the others show up. OH, yes I also had a granddaughter and her boyfriend from Virginia here last Sunday when we exchanged Christmas gifts. Another daughter and her husband came over this morning to exchange gifts. I think she knew I might be a bit down today and was hoping to make it a better day for me. I used to visit the cemetery on our Anniversary, but they never plow and the snow is too deep to try to walk there and way too far back into the cemetery to ask someone to shovel a path that far. Last year was the same way. One year my youngest son did try to shovel a path, but we had less snow that year. One year my oldest daughter turned her ankle from walking thru the deep snow on Christmas Day. I think that`s what is making it harder, the fact that i can`t go to the cemetery on our Day.
I wish I could locate the first post I wrote as it was a much better one. it told about how we celebrated our Anniversaries over the years when we were together. How for years we celebrated by going out dancing with the sister and her husband that were married with us-- our Double Wedding and both my sister and I married men with the first name Walter. I remember my Dad telling me that he wasn`t sure he would stay walking in step with me as he escorted me down the Church isle. I remember telling him that it didn`t matter as long as he walked down with me. I remember my sister getting mad and telling the Minister she thought our Father should walk down with her, but the Minister said- no, he should walk with the oldest daughter. Didn`t matter anyways because my Dad had already told me he would walk with me. Then this sister complained that I also had our oldest brother because the groom ( my Husband to be ) had asked him to be his best man. I had been planning my wedding long before my sister was. I even had a date set, which I changed to make it easier for our parents. It would have been harder if they had to find money for two separate weddings just a couple months apart. We did have a lovely wedding and a nice reception afterwards, so everything turned out ok in the end.
Well, it is almost midnight, so guess I`ll stop writing and try to get some sleep. The program on TV isn`t good enough to stay up for. But then, who needs to stay up for TV when I can watch it in my bedroom if I can`t get off to sleep. I just won`t bother watching the rest of this movie. If I ever do locate where that first write-up is hiding, then I will still publish it .
For now, I will just remember this day with the Love we had for each other and how much I used to love being held in his arms with my head against his shoulder and his head leaning against mine as we danced around the floor listening to the western bands playing. Those were the good old days when we were filled with laughter, having a great old time accompanied by my sister and her Walt. .