Thursday, December 27, 2007

 

Christmas is over for 2007

Had a wonderful Christmas and received lots of nice gifts. My family has grown so much that I needed 51 gifts to take care of everyone. There are my children and their mates and families and all the great grandchildren from their children, plus some who are ex-es who continue to think of me as Mom, plus some new marriages this past year, and we added on 2 more great grandchildren this year. In most families when there is a divorce the one they divorced usually leaves the family. But, not in my family, most of the ex-es still come to see me at Christmas time, or the ones who live in other states still call me Mom and one phoned me on Christmas Day another will be here next week-end.

My father used to have a saying " In my Family when they marry, they marry off they don`t marry on and live at home here". Well I wish he was hear so I could tell him my saying-" In my family they continue calling me Mom and stay in touch even after they are divorced and no longer a member of my family. This year my grandson`s ex-wife showed up with her 3 children and the man she married a couple years ago. Two of the kids are my great grandchildren and I can`t give a gift to two and not to the little one and next year they are having another one. You see I am adding them on all the time even when most people wouldn`t feel they had to. I couldn`t live with my self if I gave my grandkids a gift and didn`t give their little brother one. Plus their Mom still gives me a gift and still calls me Gram. This year she made me a beautiful wooden planter and inside it was some wrapped banana bread and some cookies that she had made. Her husband hadn`t come with her before and I heard he wasn`t sure if he should come, but he felt at home by the time he left. I am glad my grandson who used to be married to her isn`t coming home untill next week-end with his new wife. But he knows his ex-wife brings the kids down to see me. They live in another state, but his kids live up here with their mother. He was in the Marines for years and was over seas more than he was home with his wife and kids. Many marriages get ruined due to wars and long separations. I don`t remember any war that kept the service people in the war fighting country for as long as they are doing today. Seems like most of them came home on furlough after about 6 months overseas. Then they were stationed in the states and another unit replaced them. Today they no more get home and they are shipped right back over. Sounds like we don`t have enough to be able bring them home after they serve a few months. It`s no wonder there are coming home in such bad mental shape from this war.

Well, Christmas was wonderful-- seeing so many of the family-- the house sure lost it`s too quiet sound with all the chatting and laughter going on. Had a full house again. As soon as some were planning to leave, others showed up. There was always at least 2 families here and sometimes lots more. There wasn`t much spare room to walk around in.

Next it will be New Years Eve to get thru. Boy we did have some happy times over the years. We would go where the bands played country music and we would dance all evening on into the early mornings hours. We always stayed till the place closed up. The places never made a lot of money from us since my sisters and i drank only soft drinks, but even they were more expensive when bought there. We sometimes went with one of my sisters and her husband and other years we went with my youngest sister and her husband. It is also harder now for 2 of my sisters as they also lost their husbands since I lost mine. Only one sister still has her husband to celebrate with. One was older than my Walt was, but the other one was younger. One never knows how much time they will have with their loved ones. I might write later about some of those New Years Eve times.

Not sure what I will be doing this New Years Eve. Probably stay home with my dog for company since I don`t drive after dark unless I have to as the car lights sometimes bother my eyes. I have prisms in my glasses to control the double vision I got from a minni stroke a few years ago. If it wasn`t for the double vision I wouldn`t need to wear glasses. After both cataracs were removed back in 1995, I had almost perfect vision and didn`t require wearing glasses. But now i need the glasses just to hold the prisims that bring the two images back into one. I thank God that someone had the talent to invent prisms.

Well, it`s after 11PM, so guess I should sign off and head off to bed. I usually watch TV for a few more hours till I can go to sleep with that face mask and my c-flex machine that I sleep with to handle my sleep apnea. Always something, but I still feel lucky when I see what medical problems some others my age are trying to handle. Arthritis is no joke either, but it is still better than what I could be going thru. As long as I can keep feeling my problems could be a lot worse, I will manage.

Comments:
I think its wonderful that you still include the ex-es in your family celebrations. It says a lot about you that they still consider you part of their lives too. It does make it a bit awkward when the two different families meet up but only if you make it so and you obviously don't.

I hope whatever you do on New Years Eve that it brings you good health and happiness Dot. You are such a sweet lady and I wish only the best for you.
 
hello dot.
merry xmas and a happy new year to you. i got a bit tired just reading about your xmas. we had 3 of our 4 children come over here for xmas and we had a great time. the day before xmas though i got real sick and i just new i would be sick for xmas but when i woke up on xmas i felt o.k. i was still a bit weak but i did not have to stay in bed like the day before and i could eat. my wife had cooked for 2 days for xmas dinner and there was not much we did not have to eat on xmas. when the kids left we told them to make themselves a plate or two to take home and we gave them some plastic containers to take what food they wanted. i am not sure how the families down south do it but that was sort of a tradition back in massachusetts when i use to live there. the families always took some food home especially when they were at their parents home for xmas.
well i hope you are doing fine and i wish you another good year in 2008.
 
Thanks gypsy. I think you are a sweet lady. They all know that I won`t allow any big arguments in my home. I don`t care if they disagree with each other, but they are expected to show respect for each other when they are in my home. I have one daughter- in- law that never got her divorce from my step son because she feels she would no longer be a part of my family if she did. Her and my step son separated years ago and he has been with another woman for years now. She did tell my step-son that she would give him a divorce if he was willing to pay for half the costs. I thought that was over gracious of her since he was the one who walked out. He later tried to get her to take him back, but it was too late. So he went back to the woman he first left her for. I wish he had woke up sooner, but wishes don`t make things work out. It was just a few months ago that my daughter explained to me why she never went for the divorce. I have been like a Mother substitute every since she lost her own wonderful Mom and she had been a part of my family for so long that I have grown to love her like my own daughter. I did my best to convince her that she would always be considered part of my family even if she got the divorce. She has always called me at least once or more times every month since she lives in another state.
Another ex-daughter-in-law still calls me Mom and even introduced me to her Husband as "This is Mom, she is my ex-es mother". I told him that all the e-mails he sees on their computer that are signed "from Mom" ot "to Mom", are from or to me. He accepted it and even danced with me at my Grandson`s Wedding- this ex-daughter-in-law is the mother of that grandson. She also lost her wonderful mother years ago. I always thought a lot of both their mothers.
gypsy, I wish you a wonderful New Years Eve followed by the best health and much happiness in 2008.
 
Hi Mr Haney, Sorry to hear you were feeling sick, but glad it didn`t last thru Christmas Day. Nice that most of your family was home to celebrate with you and your wonderful wife. It does make the day more prescious when we share them with out families. I am going to say a special prayer that next year all 4 of them come home for Christmas. Prayers have been know to work wonders.

We also do the same in my family. When ever there is a large meal many go home with some of the extra food. This year I spent Thanksgiving at my son Roger`s home and his wife sent me home with food to eat the next day. The Christmas meal was held a few days early while a granddaughter was here from another state. It was her Mother who made the big meal and invited me to eat with them. From there, I was also sent home with enough food for the next day. Years ago my Mother used to do the same thing as did I when the family was small enough to have them all home for a meal. I always think of something to take with me. Like at the son`s I knew both of them and their kids loved brownies and I knew that was something they wouldn`t be making for Thanksgiving. When my son picked me up and saw the brownies he told me he had asked his wife just that morning where are the brownies.
Glad you are feeling better and hope you both have a wonderful New Years Eve followed by 2008 filled with the very best Health and a lot of family happiness. Sending all the best also to your Mom and Dad and wish them many more years together. I pray for better health for your Dad. I remember how worried you were a while back about him.
 
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