Dot`sThoughts

Ever stop to think of how confusing it was the first time you used a computer? Did you wonder if you would ever conquer that monster, or did you take one look at it and then and there decide you could conquer it if you just put your mind on it?

When I bought my first machine it had windows 95 on it. Oh, maybe I should mention that before I ever bought my first computer i had played with the old machine my brother used to use. It wasn`t a computer, but did work a lot like one. I forget what it was called, but some kind of tec machine. We played games on it and could even make up some new games to play on it. It had little tapes you could play or make new ones. Next to a computer, it looked like a toy. But it wasn`t easy to use and was sometimes more confusing to learn than a computer is. , but I did enjoy it. It must have been the beginning of the computer idea even though it didn`t have anything like windows on it. You could type with it. Some of the older people may remember what it was called. I could call my bro and find out, but guess it really doesn`t matter. That one of my brothers was the only one of it`s kind that I ever saw or played around with.

Once I got my comp with the 95 windows on it, I started checking everything out, but I didn`t have the internet at that time. I like learning new things, so I found it interesting enough to start trying out new ways till I hit the right way to accomplish what I wanted to at the time. Once I mastered the 95, My daughter paid to put me on the net as a Christmas gift. She added cable TV for her Dad and internet for me. Who knows when I might have decided to get on the net if she hadn`t just went ahead and signed me up and paid for it. For the next few years, every year she would give her Dad and I each a money gift for Christmas , for our Birthdays, on Fathers and Mother`s days --to pay for another year.I went on the net and then I found I needed a larger comp as I didn`t have enough room on that machine. So, I bought a new computer with 98 on it and had even more to learn. A few years later I was having trouble so we removed the 98 and put in Me. Then I got into doing much more on the machine and needed even more room, so a few years later, here came computer #3. This new one came with XP on it, so here I went learning all over again. I am sure many of you remember this experience of newer windows and more to learn. Today I think of how much faster it would have been if I only knew back then that you could learn off the net. I learned computer use the same way I learned lots of other things-- by trial and error. Thanks goodness I was careful what I tried , or was it just luck that I didn`t mess up my computers while learning?

What would I be doing today with all my time if I hadn`t bought that first computer, or hadn`t ever gone on the net and met so many wonderful friends to be in contact with. Would I have been able to handle losing Walt and living alone? Would working in the shop be enough if all I had was an empty house to look forward to once
I left the shop? I am sure I would have stayed working in the shop till I was way too tired to think, and that sure would have been dangerous. One should never work with electric saws and other power tools when one is over tired. But would I have cared if there was noone else to care about my life? I must give all my family a lot of credit for the way they were constantly looking out for me. I am sure they did it in the beginning because losing their Dad must have made them realize they could also lose me someday. But, here it is 4 1/2 years later and they are still keeping watch on how I am doing and what I am doing.

Yesterday I decided to try driving my own car. When a daughter next door saw me taking my car out of the garage she came out asking what I was doing. I told her I was just driving down to the bank and stopping at Hannaford for a few groceries. She kept saying take my car, take my car. Mine is a standard with no power steering, requiring me to use my right arm more, while her`s is an automatic and has power steering to make it less work to drive. She even said if I wanted to warm up my car then to just let it sit in the yard running for a while. But, I needed to prove to myself whether I could do it yet or not. I didn`t give in and took off with my own car for the first time since I dislocated and messed up my shoulder on Nov. 11th. I took a longer way so there wasn`t any sharp right turns to pull on my arm. Today, my shoulder is aching some from driving, but I did find out that in an emergency, I could drive my car if it were necessary. Now I won`t mind going back to driving her car till the shoulder is fully healed. I just had to know If I could do it if the need arised.
Well, back to therapy on monday for some more strenuous exercises. Some make my shoulder tell me off, but still I am doing better all the time and that makes it all worth while. I am slowly getting more range movement and more strength in that arm. Again, I think, would i be working so hard and putting up with more pain if I lived alone with nothing to look forward to? I might not have. But, I keep thinking of the day when i can get back making thingsd in my wood shop and to ever do that again will require that shoulder and arm working properly. So, I will keep fighting.

Yesterday a brother said to me he was amazed at all I am still able to do with my arthritic crooked fingers, bad back, double vision, etc.. He knows the pain they sometimes cause. Sciatic nerve has put me flat right in bed a few times. My answer to him was "What else can we do. After all we have both our Father`s and our Mother`s determination to succeed and keep going on doing things. They were never quiters. My Mother was still on a Bowling Team in her 80`s and running her own home until she broke her hip in her late 80`s. And my Dad was still a mechanic repairing vehicles for extra money the day before he died at age 73. We grew up watching our parents staying active. I once walked in on my mother hanging wall paper all alone when she was older than I am now.
I guess I would feel like a failure if I wasn`t able to still accomplish anything. I know the day might come when I will have to give in and admit I am unable to keep up everything, but until that day arises, I thank God for what I am still able to do.

When I started this post I was thinking of my computer days. I sort of got off track. But thats what happend when your mind starts thinking of one thing which leads to another and before you know it your whole train of thought has changed.
Got a few inches of snow today and it looks more like the olden day Christmas times. Didn`t have to shovel which was good as my shoulder wouldn`t have handled it just yet. My wonderful future son-in-law brought over his snow blower and did both my driveway, front sidewalk and the area by the mailbox. He even brought in my mail saying he did it so I wouldn`t need to walk out in this weather. I did go out later to get my newspaper (he would have gotten it if I had mentioned it). He also took my car to the station and filled up the gas tank for me. One thing I can`t do is work the gas pumps with my hands. So, others do it for me. Even if I don`t drive it till spring, I still need to be able to start it up, warm it up and back it in and out of my garage to keep it working better thru the winter. Having had a mechanic for a Dad, I know better than to just let my car sit still in the unheated garage all winter without at least warming it up every so often and driving it up and down the driveway a few rimes to turn the motor over and warm up the oil etc.. My Dad was a machinist at work, but a mechanic evenings and week-ends till he retired, then he continued doing mechanic work at home.

Boy, it sure is dark out tonight. Even the snow isn`t reflecting any light, but then we don`t have street lights on my road. I did get my double motion light over the garage doors working again, but they still need a little more adjustment. I like them coming on the minute I start to step out my door and so far I have them adjusted to come on as I walk off my porch steps. The next good day, I should get out and do more adjusting. To reach them without using a ladder on the slippery driveway, I use my paint roller with the long extension handle. I can move it, but can`t tighten it, so the wind will probably jar it again before winter is over, but I don`t want others climbing the ladder now either.

# posted by Dotm @ 2/03/2007 05:57:00 PM