Dot`sThoughts

Today is filled with memories of my Dear husband who passed away almost 4 1/2 years ago. The reason is that today would have been our 55th Wedding Anniversary. Sometimes the 4 1/2 years seems like a century since I last saw him, while other times it seems like it wasn`t that long ago at all.
I remember our wonderful 50th Wedding Anniversary when our kids thru us a surprise Anniversary Party with all the relatives invited. Walt was already having breathing problems and still he insisted on dancing with me to the music of the band the kids had hired. I remember asking him if he was sure he felt up to dancing and telling him I would understand if he didn`t. But, he got up, reached out for my hand and said " I want to dance with you". I forget how many dances we danced that evening, but know it was at least 5 or 6 Dances and maybe more. I must confess that I watched his face every couple minutes to check on his breathing. I was so afraid he was overdoing. But, every time I picked my head off his shoulder or away from his head and looked at him, he was giving me his loving expression. He was enjoying it as much as I was. Looking back, I wish I had been able to forget my fears and fully enjoy every dance since they were to be our last.

For many years we used to celebrate our Anniversaries with one of my sisters and her husband-- we had a double wedding and both of us married a fellow whose first name was Walter. We used to go out for supper and then go Dancing to celebrate our Anniversary. Back then the only soda sold at the places was ginger-ale-- no pepsi, cola, rootbeer, etc.. Since my sister and I didn`t drink, we had ginger-ale even though neither of us was crazy about it. I remember one of those nights when some fellow followed us out when we left. He thought my husband was some guy he had trouble with earlier that night. That guy was drunk , lost a shoe in the snowbank he started to climb while following us towards our car. It was snowing hard that night and we already had a few feet of snow on the ground. Nothing like the past few years on this date. My bro-in-law told the guy that the fellow he was looking for was still in side. The guy asked "are you sure?" Whe he was told yes, he took off back inside. My bro-in-law pulled the shoe out of the snow and took it inside to give to the owner who he was friends with and we left to drive back home. Who knows, maybe the guy he was looking for never was there at all, because we never saw anyone having problems all the time we were there. I hope he didn`t give some other fellow a rough time.
So many things to remember, like I can never go to bed without checking the gas stove to be sure all the burners are completely off. That was one thing I can still hearing my Hubby saying when I would be going to bed " Did you check the gas stove?" It never dawned on him to check the stove before he headed for bed, but he never failed asking me if I did. We had a gas stove catch fire once. We were getting ready to go out- another Anniversary time and one daughter was going to cook pizza for her and her bros and sis`s. She yelled in to me saying the oven wouldn`t light. I told her to turn it off and leave the oven door open and then to leave it alone and I would check on it when I was done getting dressed. Almost an hour later I figured it would then be safe to re-light the oven. Back then we had no automatic power start to light the burners and oven and had to use a match to light them. I went to light it when suddenly the fire blew filling the oven and heading towards me so fast. My only thought was to shove my daughter out of the way of danger. The poor kid never knew what happened when I pushed her so hard she ended up across the room. She was safe, but my hand was badly burned. Here we were all dressed up and ready to go out to celebrate our special day. Instead we had to call the fire co. as there was fire going up the wall behind the stove. On the other side of that outside wall sat two filled gas cylinders that we feared might explode if the fire went thru the pipe that connected the tanks to the stove. Luckily the shut offs worked on the tanks. The ambulance showed up with the fire truck. An old school friend of mine was working on the ambulance that night and he kept insisting that I get into the ambulance so they could take me to the hosp.. I told him, not until I knew my house was safe and the fire danger was over. A few minutes later he asked me to just walk out to the ambulance so he could put some burn salve on my hand to stop the burn from getting any worse. Stupid me, I trusted my old friend. Once in the ambulance he kept looking thru different Drawers for the salve, then told me to stay put while he went to ask the other fellow where he put the salve since he supposedly used it last. Next thing I new the ambulance took off and never stopped till they had me at the Hosp.. By then a lot of the skin was already gone. I still remember that inhuman Nurse who was working that night. She never asked me to remove my rings or to put my hand into the bucket of ice. She just grabbed my hand, yanked off my rings and actually shoved my whole hand down into the ice cubes. All she had to do was ask and I would have removed my rings without pulling off so much skin in the process and I would have more carefully put my own hand into the bucket of ice cubes-doing less damage to the burnt flesh.
So, that Anniversary sure was ruined for us and my sis and her Husband also. But we had many more years to celebrate in. But I still hear those words -Did you check the stove?" and I still check every knob before going to bed. But, years later with another stove, I told him I could smell gas and wanted to call the gas guy to check the stove. Hubby thought I was wrong and the stove was ok, but I refused to cook on it till it was checked. He felt it was just the gas smell we would often smell when the gas tanks were getting low. but to me it smelled stronger. Luckily we had automatic delivery and the fellow showed up a couple days later to fill the 2 tanks. I immediately went out and asked him if he would check the stove for me. It turned out that it had a lot of gas leaks and we were lucky we hadn`t blown up our home with it. The gas guy tagged the stove so we couldn`t legally use it anymore. He thought I was crazy when I told him "Thank you". He said, "Lady, did you hear what I said? I have to tag your stove and you can`t use it anymore." I said I understand that, but you just might have saved our lives and our home by tagging it. And thats when we got a new stove. That new stove is quite old today, so I keep a close eye on it. Once we got the new stove, my Hubby was walking around the house with oxygen-- he would even start cooking eggs at the stove wearing the oxygen till I would shut of the burner and tell him he either had to let me do his eggs or remove the oxygen before turning on the gas burner. He was always scare-ing me that way.

Another Anniversary both my sister and I were expecting, so we settled for going to their home and playing cards all evening. But even that was fun for us. About the last ten or fifteen years I started agreeing to have a sloe gin drink to celebrate with while he had a beer. One Anniversay a friend stopped by. My husband offered her a sloe gin when he was fixing one for me. I went into the bathroom after he set both glasses on the table. As I was opening the bathroom door I spotted the friend pouring more sloegin into my glass. I never said anything, but when her back was turned I switched my glass and hers- giving her the stronger drink. The next day I heard she was sick that night after she went home and she couldn`t understand why she got sick and it hadn`t bothered me. She admitted that she wondered what I would act like if I was drunk. A few years ago, one of my kids said- We have never seen you drunk, and I told them- yes, and you never will. I never minded a drinker as long as they knew when to stop, but I once told my Husband that I would never allow my kids to be raised by a drunk. We almost broke up after just a couple years of Marriage. Hubby had a choice, me and our daughter or the beer place with his brother. I am so glad he chose us. After that the only time he went out was with me on our Anniversary and he would have a beer once in a while at home, but after a few more years he just stopped buying it except on our Anniversary- not because I told him too, It had to be his decision or it never would have made him happy. But later on he was put on some meds for medical problems and you couldn`t drink while taking them, so it was nice that he didn`t want the beer anymore. He never mentioned drinking again till a few months before he died. He said he would like a beer and all I said was that he would have to stop taking the pills for a couple days to get them out off his system before he could safely drink. He never mentioned it again. I believe he chose the necessary pills over the beer. But, again, it had to be his decision.

One reason our marriage lasted so long was because we never tried to tell the other what to do or how to think and act. We were able to be ourself. Guess you could say we were satisfied with the person we were married to and so didn`t try to change each other. I always felt that if you wanted to change the person you
married then you must have married the wrong person in the first place. I am glad he wasn`t a real drinker. He was alone and enjoyed someone to talk to and that was his reason for meeting his bro at the bar before I met him. Then after we married his bro would call him for a ride home and when he went after him, his bro would insist he have a drink with him first before he would leave. Then this bro moved in with us so no need to go after him anymore. This bro was one who remained polite even when drunk, he would just go to sleep. When our first baby was born, he stopped drinking while living with us out os respect for us. He was a proud Uncle. Years later he too got married.

Happy Anniversary Walt!!! You may be gone, but never forgotten. A lot of spooky things happened yesterday. First I was sitting at the sewing machine sewing, and when I started to stand up, something was sticking into the bottom of my foot. Since my shoes were still on and properly tied, I knew nothing was inside my shoe. But, wow, was it hurting. I am so glad I untied and loosened the laces before removing that shoe. When I turned my shoe over, there was the regular sewing needle sticking all the way thru my shoe and showing inside. So, that was what was in my foot. I had dropped the needle earlier, but when does a needle land standing point upward in the plush rug? Next I used a steak knife to cut some large pills in half so I could swallow them. I dropped the knife and when I looked down to pick it up, there is was standing on end with the point of the knife looking upward at me. If that wasn`t enough, when I went back to the sewing machine, I dropped the large scissors and when I reached down to pick them up, they were leaning against the chair rung with the pointed ends upward. I told our daughter I thought we had a spook in the house. HaaHaa. Too many weird things that don`t normally happen. When you drop things, you expect to see them laying flat on the floor, don`t you? Well today is almost over and so far no more weird happenings.

"Happy Anniversary" my Darling. I love you.