Dot`sThoughts

Today, an internet friend of mine was telling me about her future vacation toCalifornia with her sister and brother-in-law. This reminded me of my friend who moved to California. I had plenty of school friends, but this is just telling about two sisters who remained my friends all thru High School and on thru our adult lifes.

I was invited to California many times in the past but was unable to go back then. I lost that great friend a couple years ago. We had grown up in the same neighborhood and went to school together. I was a couple years behind her sister and a couple years ahead of her. The three of us were real close. Their Mom and Dad used to include me on many of their family week-end trips to visit their relatives who lived in the state of Vermont. I used to enjoy those week-end trips. I also spent many nights at their home when I was in high School. Growing up we lived about a 20 minute walk from each other.
I was just a Freshman in my first year of high school when I met Pauline. She was in my brothers class and we all walked part way home from school together. Thats how we became friends. Her and my brother were juniors- 3rd year of high School. She had talked me into joining the "Tickets please" club with her. The best part of belonging to that club at school was that we collected tickets at all the different sports- basket ball, baseball , football, plus at the dances and other doings. So, I got to see all our school home games for nothing. That was great since my baby sitting money could stretch just so far. But what it was spent on is another story.

When the Juniors had their Junior prom, the club chose me for one of their ticket collectors. You can imagine how exciting that was for me-- having to wear a long gown and getting soo dressed up for something I was still too young to attend. There were so many others they could have chosen that were in the 2nd year Sophmore class, 3rd year junior class with them, or even the 4th Grade Senior class. And here they were asking a little freshman to do it for their most important Dance they would ever attend in their full 4 years of High School. They had only known me for a few months in the club and some had been club members during their whole high school years. I considered that a great privilege to be asked. After the ticket taking was over and the Dances began, I was even more amazed when some of the girls asked their dates to dance one dance with me. They sure were not expected to do that. It was enough to be seeing all the beautiful decorations, watching them crown their King and Queen seeing the other kids taking part in the coronation ceremony. I still remember the decorated chairs sitting under the tall arched trellis covered with vines and flowers. And the two gold colored crowns being placed onto the King and Queens heads. Their class had voted before the dance and the winners were the ones crowned and the others that were named to vote on ended up being part of the ones to stand up their beside where they sat. Last years King and Queen were also at the Dance as they were the ones who put the crowns onto the heads of the new King and Queen. It reminded me of seeing a bride and groom sitting under the flowered covered archway with all the wedding attendants standing on either side of them. So many lovely gowns, guys all in tuxedos and all the girls were wearing either corsages on their dresses or had those wrist corsages.

Oh, I forgot to mentioned that those collecting tickets were also given a corsage to wear on their gowns. That was my very first corsage. The next one was when I was the maid-of-Honor at my older sisters wedding, and after that I had a corsage to wear when I was a bridesmaid in a cousins wedding . Over the years I had many corsages, but that first one still means a lot to me. I kept that corsage for many years till it started falling apart from age. I didn`t know how to preserve them, or I might still have it today. And even the food after the dance was nice. It was all so exciting for someone who was my age- just turned 14 yrs of age at the time. Just starting High School was exciting for me. I wasn`t allowed to date till I was age 16, but I was allowed to attend all my high school dances. All this excitement and fun because my new found friend had talked me into joining the Tickets please Club with her. I often wonder how much influence she had in my being chosen. This dance was her junior Class Prom.

Now to get back to my friends and their families- I spent a lot of time at their home, even over nighters. Many times on Friday nights their Dad would yell to us, calling us chattermouths and remind us that he had to work in the morning . We thought we were whispering so they couldn`t hear us, but of course sometimes we would get laughing over something and that -they would hear. They lost their Dad years later. I still remember the last time I saw him. I had stopped to see my friend Pauline, her younger sister was already living in California at the time. When I knocked on the door, their Dad answered the door and told me that both Pauline and her Mom had gone shopping. So, I started to leave. He reached out the door, gently grabbed my arm and asked me if I could stay and talk with him for a while as they would be back soon. He said he could use someone to talk to. So there I was still chatting with him when they got home. Then they insisted that I stay for lunch with them. The next time I saw him was at his Funeral.

When the younger daughter, Eva, married she moved to California to live, but we still stayed in touch. I continued to visit her sister and her Mother till her sister Pauline passed away and then the younger sister-Eva took her Mother to live with her in Calif. I really missed them all, By then I had already lost my Mom and their Mom had always been like a second mother to me. It was like losing a second mother.

I used to talk to them a lot on the phone. Their Mom knew she had left her home and flew to visit her daughter, but she never realized that where she was living now was a very long ways from where I lived. In fact she still thought she was still just visiting them and would someday come back to her own home. She was always asking me when I was coming down to see her. Her daughter always told me that anytime I wanted to come see them, she would make up the other spare room for me. She made sure I always knew I was welcome at their home. In the beginning I still had kids in school, so felt I couldn`t leave home, plus Walt and I had never taken a vacation without the other. I could have, but guess I just never thought about going alone. Plus, we really never had any money to waste while we were raising our kids.

Their Mom was in her nineties when she asked me why I never came down to see her anymore. At the time my car wasn`t working, so I told her I had no car. Her daughter didn`t want her mother to know they had taken her so far away from her old neighbothood. She always thought she was still within driving ways from where I was living when she used to drive up with Pauline to visit me. Usually, it was me who did the driving down to see them. I was living about a half hours drive from their home after Walt and I built our own home in a near-by town..

One day- a few weeks before she died- they had hunted the house for her and the daughter told me they found her Mom sitting in their car. When they asked her why she was in the car, she told them- Dot`s car isn`t working, and If noone is going to take me up to see her, then I am going to drive myself up to see her. She had turned in her Drivers licence when her older daughter passed away- she was in her 80`s then. She told me she had to keep her license for Pauline who was in a wheelchair the last few years and now she didn`t need it and so she was turning it in. We had talked on the phone just a couple days before that and she told me- There aren`t many of us old friends left, so we have to stick together.

When I heard that she wanted to drive up to see me, I wanted so much to go visit them, but at the time Walt was on oxyagen and wasn`t doing well and I didn`t feel it would be right to leave him alone, so I didn`t go. I was invited again the following year after he passed away, but felt my kids needed me and that I wouldn`t be very good company till I could handle losing him. I will always wish I had gone and would have if I had known she was in bad health. She never once said she was having any medical problems, but afterwards her husband told me she knew she didn`t have long to live. I will always be sorry I hadn`t thought of myself just this once and headed off to California. Eve had told me to come visit for a couple weeks, and once I was there she was sure I would love it so much that I would never have wanted to go back home. But, I knew I would miss my Family enough to hurry back home after a couple weeks.
Lost thier Dad in 1981, Pauline in 1999, their Mom in May of 2005 and Eva just six months later in Nov. 2005 . Eva had the pleasure of caring for her mother for 6 years which brought her so much pleasure. She once told me that her sister had her mother for all the years since she had moved to live in California, and now it was her turn to live with her mom. I told her that as much as I missed seeing her mom, I was happy that she had taken her to live with her. She also had grandchildren and and a great grandchild that got a chance to realy know and love their Gram and great Gram. A while ago I came across an old picture of Eva and myself acting crazy like teenagers can. Pauline had taken the picture. I e-mailed this picture off to Eva`s husband and he told me he gave copies to all the kids so they could see what their mother looked like when she was a teenager. I got to meet her husband a few times when they came home to her mom`s and he is a great person and was a very loving husband and a great Dad, not only to theirs but also to hers from her first marriage.
Wonderful people, gone but never to be forgotten.

One more thing to remember about my friends. Pauline was the type who did what you would expect her to do, while Eve was one with a mind of her own. She didn`t dress like everyone else, she was one of a kind. Sometimes you would think she was a young kid when she got kidding around and she loved wearing her huge ribbon in the back of her red red hair. While her sister was the more serious type and you would never catch her goofing off that way. They were so different, but still so much alike with their loving hearts and their caring for others ahead of themself. They and their parents will always be missed.