Dot`sThoughts

My Anniversary Day, Dec.23rd, 1951

Today my mind has traveled back to one of the most important dates in my life, the day I married my wonderful husband Walt. It was such a beautiful day.We had a double ring, double marriage along with my Sister and her husband Walt. Yes, we both married men with the first name of Walter. Glad the Minister didn`t get the wrong womans first name with the wrong Walt. :) Since I was oldest, I got to walk down the aisle on my Fathers arm. Walt had asked my oldest brother to be his best man. My maid of Honor was a friend I had met when I first started working at the hospital.We had been friends at work for over a year before I started dating Walt. We had been dating for almost a year before either my friend ( later maid of honor) knew who I was dating. neither of us knew it was someone who once was related to her. I knew he was married and divorced over 4 years before I met him. What surprised my friend and I was that his first wife was her older sister. That never came between my friend and I and she ended up happy to be in our wedding. Over the years her parents and I became close. You see The grandparents had raised Walts daughter since he was in service over seas at the time. He came home on a furlough to find his wife in his apt bed with another man and his daughter living with her grandparents. Thats when he got his divorce. When he came home from service
he moved into his in-laws home with his daughter . He was an orderly at the hosp where I worked and thats how we met.
We dated together for a year before getting married and thats how
I got to meet his daughter and her grandparents. .
After our Marriage we took his daughter to live with us.The grandmother was so afraid she would never see her granddaughter again since they were the parents of his first wife,
but both grandparents were so happy that I insisted their granddaughter should keep her closeness with them.They used to tell me how much it meant to them to see their granddaughter with me.The Grandmother once told me that she was so happy Walt had found a good mother for his little girl and she hoped that hank ( her daughters next fellow) would also find a better mother for his little girl ( another of her granddaughters).
Walts little girl ended up living with her grandparents after her
grandmother caught her daughter holding a pillow over the babys
face and heard her saying - now I`ll never have to hear you cry again. She was almost 4 years old when I first met her and after our
mariage she came to live with us. . Today I visit my Maid of Honor in a Nursing Home. She is almost blind and can hardly walk and it hurts to see her in that condition. We still keep the strong love bond between us. I wanted to go to the cementary today, but they don`t plow it out and it is a long distance from the road to way back where Walt is. Way to far for me to shovel and the snow is crusted over so can`t safely walk there. Last Christmas my oldest Daughter walked thru the high snow and ended up with her legs all black and blue from her knees down her whole leg from
falling thru the hard crust. I was doing pretty good today until a brother phoned about a friend of his. That is she is your friend when she wants something then if she can`t control you, she starts telling lies about you to get even. Walt warned me about her, but I didn`t listen. I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Well the time came when she wanted to be rid of my brother- she asked me to tell, or I should say, she ordered me to tell him to stop contacting her, both on phone and on the net- She grew up near us, but has lived in Texas for many years. When I told her I would not get involved and if she had a problem with my bro she would have to handle it herself and leave me out of it. She got mad at me and stopped contacing me.Then over a year later she came to town, phoned me about a tape she had sent me as a Christmas present years before she got mad.She said she wanted to borrow it to make a copy for another friend who lived in my town and would return it after. Then this person where she was staying heard her conversation to me on the phone. She phoned me later to tell me that she never intended to make a copy and had gone to the mailbox and mailed the tape to her own home address in Texas. Then she told a couple girls that she got mad at me for calling her some real filthy names. luckily those girls knew me and knew I never use that language. Another friend said the friend from Texas always used that language. Well, my brother just heard that this lady from Iexas was in the hosp in very dire condition. I told him I couldn`t get into her as this was my day and I already had more on my plate than I could handle and so wasn`t up to listening to his excuses for all she had done. She alienated all my family the last time she was around and ran this same bro into the ground everywhere she went. She became like apossession he couldn`t have and all the family was tired of all the lies.
He used to cry on everyones shoulder over how bad she had treated him.Now she makes excuses for her actions. We have a cousin whose husband is seriously ill and the dr says it could be anytime. Trying to change the subject on the phone withmy bro, I told him I feel sorry for the granddaughter in Texas and for her friend here she had also hurt and wish she had made things right with her, but right now my heart is for our cousin and what she is going thru. He got mad again, and I told him Family comes first with me. He got mad and slammed down the phone. He has treated others this way and so isn`t as close to the rest of our family.I have felt sorry for him living alone since our Mother passed away in 1995 and have done my best to be there for him to help.He doesn`t make it easy for anyone to stay close to him. One other time, I told him he had to stop trying to control what others think and stop running everyone down or someday he would find himself all alone. he told me please don`t be mad at him as I was his only mainstay. Then here he is again acting like only how he feels is important. I told a sister a while ago that I didn`t know how much more I could take from his attitude, then I get worried about him and here I am taking more abuse from him over the phone. He will stay away for a few days, then show up acting like nothing happened- no appologies as he is never wrong
or if he should say I`m sorry, he will repeat what he does all over again.
So, how sorry was he??? I have never slammed a phone in anyones ears.
he is good at it. So, While I was holding up as strong as I could incase any of the kids dropped in, he managed to bring everything crashing down around me. Then one of my granddaughters showed up and that gave me the strength to calm down and visit with her. Then two of my daughters stopped in bringing food from McDonalds and we all ate together. They stopped , knowing it was my Anniversary and that was so thoughtful of them. I had just sent my bro home with a bag of gifts this morning. I try my best to make Christmas nice for him. On his birthday in Nov. I gave him a gift card for staples. I do more for him than anyone, but you just can`t dissagree with him without problems. Today just wasn`t a good day to start his acting up. I know I can`t ignore him as I am the one he depends on but there just are some days when my plate is already way too full to listen to him. He has a very negative attitude and he is far to quick to run others down. I have watched these people do lots for him and I once told him it was time he started appreciate it and showing them he appreciates it. It`s like the old saying " Never bite the hand that feeds you.
Well, now that I`ve got this off my mind,maybe the rest of the day will be a little bit easier to handle.
One of my daughters is having her large christmas Dinner tonight and has asked me to join them. So, that will help pass away part of the day. This way she doesn`t need to spend Christmas eve or Christmas day over a hot stove and can sit and visit with those who show up. Her whole family and possible my oldest daughter and her family will be there.

The neighbor across the road brought me over a present yesterday which I opened today. She gave me a wrapped gift inside of a box with a Bear on it. When I opened it today, inside was a beautiful brown metal Horse with gold trim on the main, hoofs and tail , just beautiful. It stands about 11 inches tall on a base about 3 1/2 inches across.
Now that I have calmed down a bit, I need to stop writing and call them to say thankyou. They are the same ones who got the hay for the dog house. Very nice people. If I ever needed them I know I could count on them to be there for me. Everyone should have neighbors like them.
I don`t usually let people get me down like my bro did today,
but he just connected with a day when I was already feeling down. I usually can control my feeling so they don`t show.
Was just going to close out when the same grandddaughter showed up again. She just gave me a beautiful boquet of flowers- she said it was to brighten my day. So, I stopped to put them into a vase. Always said I had a wonderful thoughtful family.
In about three hours or less I will be over at a daughters for a large meal. She is a good cook as are my other kids. Sent my sister an Anniversary card and if I get home early enough I might also call her.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night- or day as it is here.